Leaving.

I've been thinking a lot lately about leaving.

About leaving home. Leaving friends. Leaving work. Leaving comfort. Leaving all that I've known for all that I don't know.

I've never been much for change. Or new. Or making friends. Or being uncomfortable.

Donald Miller says,

'We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?

It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.

I want to repeat one word for you:

Leave.

Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed.'

And I lied. I've been thinking about leaving since I read those lines on September 1, 2008.

God sometimes has a different timeline than I. I've tried, don't get me wrong. I've tried, since that date, to leave. I guess I wasn't ready. Or maybe I thought I was ready, but my reasons were wrong. Maybe my reasons were to escape. Or because I was angry. Or I felt left-behind. Or I was sad. Or, perhaps, I was wallowing in a period of utter humiliation.

Whatever the reasons were then, they are not the reasons now. Now it is for adventure. For love. For companionship. For friendship. For challenge. For all those 'what-if's' I've carried for years.

But most of all, it is because I promised to follow. I was asked to go on a great adventure, both by my God and my husband. And I have willingly chosen to accept.

Thus, the change.

I accept leaving. I choose it. Out of love. Out of desire. Out of humility. And most importantly, because I can.